Your Self-Worth is Worth a Lot!

Do you ever feel as if you don’t deserve success?  Or happiness?  Do you experience guilt or uncomfortable feelings, even if success or happiness is right in front of you?  Do you experience the urge to want to push it all away, even if you’ve worked hard in earning the rewards?  If so, you may be struggling with owning, appreciating, and accepting your own self-worth.

How we view ourselves is complex, as it is both an internal and external process.  We often seek validation from the outside world in order to feel valued and respected, and without experiencing that, many of us might begin questioning our own worth; however, it is truly impossible to be validated and embraced by everyone we encounter in our lives.  Seeking external validation before embracing internal validation can pose problems in our acceptance of ourselves.

I’d like to think that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.  If you do not abide by your own rules, goals, values, morals, and expectations for yourself (and in turn, if you regularly put others before yourself), negative consequences may result, such as increased anxiety, stress, burnout, fatigue, and depression.

What should you pay attention to, then, so that your self-worth does not become negatively impacted?  Here are five themes to keep in mind:

1)  People-Pleasing – You experience a strong desire to be accepted, loved, and viewed in a positive light at all times, and by everyone.  When this does not occur, you might experience intense feelings of rejection, and possibly abandonment.

2)  Self-Sabotage – You have a tendency to push away or reject others before they have a chance to reject or disappoint you.

3)  Perfectionism – You strive for the ideal at all times, and when the ideal does not happen, you might experience emotions such as guilt and self-blame.

4)  Fear of Failure – If something does not work out, you internalize this as an absolute failure on your part, without looking at other factors that may have contributed to the event.

5)  Feeling Like a “Doormat” – You’d rather have people “walk all over you” to make sure their needs and feelings are met, just to avoid conflict.  A damaging consequence of this is ignoring how you truly feel, which can set you back, instead of propelling you forward.

If you recognize that any of these five points are issues for you, don’t lose heart: there are surefire ways to deal with them, and to improve your sense of your own self-worth.  I’m here to help!


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